Monday, January 30, 2012

Toffee Nose's (POSH BASTARDS)

Another bunch of BASTARDS I hate!!!!  Snobby fuckheads really get on my WICK, just because you live a richer fuckin silly cunt of a lifestyle doesnt give you the right to look down your fuckin nose at me, dickhead!! Driving around in a flashy car/jeep thinking your the big I AM, fuck that shit!  When I was walking into work last week, theres a mercedies factory near me and some fucker came flying into the driveway in his fancy MERC, well fuck that shit, he could have killed someone, just coz you own that fancy car doesnt mean you own DUBLIN, you pox bottle you!!! I will break your toffee nose with a TOFFEE HAMMER, MOTHERFUCKHEAD!!!  That snobby accent aswell that the cunts adopt really gets on my TITS, yes thats ROISH, DISH and DASH, last time I looked there was no S in THAT!!! For fuckin hell!!!  These cunts need a smack of reality in the form of a FISH ON A DRAWER SLIDE, like in TAXI DRIVER, except he has a gun on his, my one would have a mackeral or something, POSHO's can go FUCK THEMSELVES!! A good day to ya!!!!


Now these motherfuckers I HATE with a PASSION!!!!  Fuckin wasters so they are, standing around all they in theyre tracksuits bothering people, with theyre hands down theyre CAX!! Whats with that, are they checking to see if they still have a mickey, what the fuck!!! Silly twats!!!  The other thing aswell is theyre bumfluff tash's, it looks like a piece of dirt above your fuckin lip, it looks horrendous, also known as a KNACKTASH.  Another thing that really pisses me off about these TWATSKYS is the mess fighting, what the fuck is with that for jaysus sake, GET A ROOM!!!!  Theyres defo some sexual tension or something there, they cant keep theyre fuckin MITS off of each other, AHHHH!!!  Other things TILTED CAP(needs a slap), KNACKTASH(facial smash), HANDS DOWN JOX(hes a fuckin pox), TRACKSUIT(give em a boot), NIKE AIR SHOES(he needs a facial bruise), CHOKER CHAIN(smack him with a smoothing plain)!! FUCK THE LOT OF THEM, making peoples lives a fuckin misery, EXTERMINATE the fuckers I say, stupid little moronic wankbags!!! Goodnighty!!!

Friday, January 27, 2012

50 Cent: Blood on the Sand XBOX 360

I'm not a fan of 50 cents music, I think he's grade A bullshit but this game is a fuckin GEM!!!! I picked this up in Gamestop for 11.99 and it was 11.99 well fuckin spent let me tell ya!!!  This is a third person shooter kinda like Kane and Lynch, Army of Two and all that stuff.  Its nice and violent and the scoring system is like an arcade, you get a headshot and you get more points that anything, thats why cunts keep getting theyre head blown off by yours truly!!! Its cracking, you get upgrades and shit like that to buy new weapons, silenced pistol is my fuckin favourite, i fuckin love it, the grenades are class, the language in it is beautiful also, FUCK THIS and FUCK THAT, right up my street!!!  The gore factor is fuckin fantastic, when you shoot someone the blood splats onto the wall and when you kill them theres a pool of blood left, lets keep that to the gaming world, in real life, that would be horrific but games are fuckin class, especially the violent ones, this is a great game and get it if you like your third person shooters!!! Over agus out!!!


Well well, one of the biggest bands in Irish rock history, sold loads of albums, sold out stadiums, guess what, I DONT GIVE A FUCK!!!!!  4 talentless fuckin twats that somehow made it lucky in a fluky kinda way.  Shitbags, Bono cant sing to save his life and as for his guitar playin skills, lets not get into that right now, The Edge(what kinda fuckin nickname is that anyway) voted one of the top 10 guitarists on some thing I watched one night, he was higher than SLASH, fuck that shit, who was listening to him, i'll tell ya who, someone who doesnt know a fuckin thing about music, thats who, shit guitarist, then weve got Adam wankbag Clayton on bass, he's so shit its unbefuckinlievable, he just stands there pretending to play and does this stupid little dance with his stupid shades on, fuck him anyway and last we have Larry i tiddle the drums Mullen Jr, what a shit drummer, sitting there pretending to play the drums, some people think hes one of the best, hahahah hahahahaahahahahaah, hahahaha, cough cough, my breakfast is coming up, hahahahaahah, choke, hahhahah! Hes shit!! There are tonnes of better bands around in Dublin past and present that would piss all over U2, the blades, horslips, thin lizzy, radiators!! you get my drift, some people think u2 are one of the best Irish bands ever, i have news for you, theyre not and you need to get a fuckin life!!!! WHAT A LOAD OF TALENTLESS WANK!!! Now managed by Louis Walsh, you heard it here first, hahahahahah!!! Good day!!!

Ainsley Harriot French Onion Cup a Soup

Well heres a fuckin humdinger for ya!  This was years ago I bought these things and it only came to mind now, coz i start doing these reviews again and I thought, these defo need a mention.  Right, they were selling these in Aldi before for 1.25 or something for 3 or 4 sachets and I thought to myself, hmm, thats good value and I had never had a french onion cup a soup before because the real french onion soup, in the words of colin farrel from intermission "FUCKIN DELISH MAN" but this was far from it!!!  I got home one day from a hard days work and was feeling a tad peckish, so I knocked on the oul kettle and got a few slices of bread ready, "click", thats the kettle there, so i poured the powder from the soup into the mug and I thought to myself that powder smells a bit funky, anyway, I poured the water on the powder and fuck me, the smell that hit me was unbefuckinlievable, it was like a rat crawled up a skunks arse and died, its was fuckin vile, disgusting and then to add insult to injury, i take a fuckin sip, ahhhhhhh!!!!! My face went from mortified to what the fuck am I doing to myself!!!  It was like I was gagged with a sweaty sock filled with shite and onion, its was fuckin mank i tells ya!!!!!  I fucked the rest of the thing down the sink and the soups went straight into the bin, box and all with that fucker ainsleys chevy chase(face) on it combined with autograph!!! These things were HELL in a sachet, if you ever see them, steer clear i tell ya, steer clear, if you happen to see ainsley near a box of them, throw them into his face and tell him to fuck off and never cook AGAIN!!! Goodnight!!

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Budweiser Lager

Well where do I start with this tantalisingly refreshing alcoholic beverage!!!  This stuff is the bees knees, the dogs bollocks, the fiddlers elbow, you get my drift!! This stuff is great, its 4.3 in the percentage department which is quite nice, it means you can drink plenty of the fuckers and not be banjaxed.  Id say I could drink about 12 of these bad boys in one sitting and it would get me nicely toasted and next morning, guess what, no hangover, I dont know how or why but this is one of them beers that does that and its fuckin fantastic!!  Skangers on the other hand, they drink bottles of this and after about 2 of them, THEYRE SHITFACED!!! Stupid little knack tash sporting idiots, they just cant handle theyre ale, now fuck off and dont waste my time!!! BUDWEISER IS THE DOGS BOLLOCKS!!!!! Cans and Pints only, bottles can piss off!!!!

McKennedy Sweetcorn Relish from LIDL

Well this stuff is like taking a shit whilst still wearing your fuckin trousersuit!!!  ITS FUCKIN MANKY!!!  I went into LIDL one day, as you do and rolled by the sauce/relish isle and said to myself, hmm, i think i'll treat myself to a jar of relish, they had this nice lookin jalapenis, i mean jalapeno one sorry, that looked very nice indeed but was a bit on the pricey side so i said ah fuck it, ill try this sweetcorn one, it didnt look too bad in the jar INFERNUS(oh thats the car from GTA, sorry) INFAIRNESS, haha,!  It looked rather appetising actually, so I paid for this stuff along with a bunch of other items and left the place.  I unlocked my bike, I got on my bike, I, I, I, why am I telling you all of this when I need to be warning you about the dangers of this relish!! I got home and decided I would make a sanger(sandwich) so I did, i put on the filling then put on this STUFF, I took a bite and holy fuck, fuck fucking me, it was like there was a party in my mouth and everyone was slinging SHITE at this said party!!!  The taste was very unpleasant, very unpleasant indeed, I didnt like it, I had been stabbed in the back once again, except this time it was LIDL that done it, I need to drop theyre knife back into them next time im in there, steer well clear of this condiment if you know whats good for you, oh yeah and one of the ingredients is CAULIFLOWER, i only seen that when I was dumping the fuckin thing, who puts cauliflower in RELISH, ahhhhhhhhhhh!!! MANKY!!! Seeya soon and it wont be in LIDL!!!! Tatty bye my pedigree chums!!

Angelic Upstarts/Crashed Out Split: The Dirty Dozen

Well fuck me sideways with a rowing oar!!!  This split is some of the best punk rock I have heard in a while let me tell ya!!  The upstarts are at theyre fuckin best on this, every song is a cracker and as for crashed out, fuckin brilliant band, they play punk rock n roll, sound slightly like social distortion, wretched ones, reducers sf, that kinda stuff, its fuckin great.  The track that stood out most for me by the upstarts was Nazi BNP, which is about them fuckin wankers!!! Its your basic upstarts song with deadly verse which brings you into the deadly Oi sounding chorus, that makes the hair stand on the back of your ballsack, i mean neck, sorry sorry!! haha!  Crashed out track that stands out for me on this is Get a Life, its sounds like "let the boots do the talking" by Oi Polloi, but fuck it, its a cracking track, as is the oi polloi song but yeah, this split is a must for all Punk Rock/Oi/Punk rock n roll fans, get it, do it now, do it today or do it eventually!!!!! YOU HEAR ME!!! Over and Out!!!

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

The Vinetree Off Licence

Well well, I was on the 123 bus yesterday coming through summerhill(dodgy as fuck) or as I call it SCUMMERHILL, anyway the further you go down on the bus I think you come to ballybough(more scum).  There was this mad looking offo called Vine Tree, I seen 2 scummers enter the place also, its like one you'd see in belfast with some fantastic prices, like in belfast.  This had things like 2 flagons for 4.99 and all this, big bottles of beer for fuck all, this sounds right up my street but not that fuckin street, I dont wanna be going to BANDIT COUNTRY to get my ale i fuckin tell thee!  Id rather stick with the local offo, i dont wanna be getting my face kicked off for a couple of cheap cans of lager with a name like GOBBLERS KNOB ALE or JOLLY REACHAROUND STOUT!! Fuck that shit, wouldnt go near the place!!! G'day!

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Time Line on the fuckin Dole!

When I heard about this my blood was on the fuckin boil I fuckin tell ya.  I heard this on Ireland AM, bunch of wankers, oh I'll come back to those cunts in a minute.  Basically this means that you will be fucked off the dole after a certain amount of time, what the fuck are you supposed to do then, this countries fucked, no fuckin jobs, hello, hello, anyone fuckin in there.  Joan Burton needs to be kicked into that wookie head of hers and torn a new fuckin arsehole!! THE FUCKHEAD!!!  This is defo gonna increase crime rates i'd say, oh the garda are gonna have to do a bit of work now, boohoo!! Its a load of bollocks!! Back to  those pricks on Ireland AM though, one of them totally agreed with it, yeah, it was none other than that FAT FUCKIN WASTE OF SPACE, Aidan "I eat everything in my path" Cooney.  This fat cunt gets a big salary at the end of the day, yeah, id like to see him living on the scratcher and being told he has a deadline to find a fuckin job thats not there.  THE FAT WASTE!!! He has his fingers in a lotta pies anyway and I dont know which ones he's fuckin eating, ALL OF THEM perhaps!!!! WHAT A FUCKIN JOKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, January 20, 2012

Book Mart Talbot Street

An old buddy of mine got in touch with me and asked me to do a review of this shop, me and him used to go into this shop back in the day to buy/trade games.  I would be surprised if this place is still running to be honest because this place was a fuckin joke.  The guy that ran the place was some tulip I tells ya and when I say tulip I mean proper fuckin dickwad!  Anyway back to the shtory, you would bring in a PS1/N64 and this is when the PS1/s where the size of an aircraft carrier, you would have about 6 games with it and you'd ask your man could you trade it off another console, now that sounds like a straight trade to me but nah!!! I can knock 5 pounds off the console, ARE YOU HAVING A FUCKIN GIRAFFE MOTHERFUCKER!!! He would be deadly serious and all and his voice was as boring as Dave Fannings aswell so you'd be nearly falling asleep just listening to the fucker but anyway, the shop was a fuckin rip off and oh yeah, the way he had the games displayed, someone would ask to have a look at something on a shelf behind him and then the other lad would go for the reacharound and rob a game from behind the counter, I seen it happen, this was talbot street after all.  There was these other 2 lads that used to work there that didnt have a clue what day it was, is this game any good, eh, uh, uh, i dunno, it looks good on the back, but it could be the worst game in the world, you fuckin MORON!!! The fucker would also rip you off on your old school books, even if without mickeys drawn on some of the characters, haha but yeah, I should have said to him when I was selling NO SALE and then smacked him with a copy of BUSY AT MATHS 6 into the skull!!!! Anyway, book mart, what a load of BOLLOX!!!

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Wankers that take up half the cycle lane in theyre cars and Walkinstown Roundabout Wacko's

This is something that really pisses me the fuck off!!! The cycle lane is meant for fuckin BICYCLES, not fuckin cars, you should be able to cycle down a cycle lane fancy free without any bleedin hassle, but no, theyres drivers that just dont give a fuck about cyclists, theyd kill ya if they had the chance, fuckers! Anyway, cycling down greenhills road every morning, except for tuesdays, theyres always fuckers I cant get past taking up half the cycle lane, well here, if you want your wing mirror removed free of charge I will happily do it for ya, ya fucker!  Then we come to the fuckin hellish nightmare that is Walkinstown JAYSUS Roundabout and weve got fuckers Jockeying for position to try and get down one of the roads in a hurry, I just get off my bike at that stage because I know if I try and cycle through there I wont be cycling again if you get my drift!  Its fuckin bedlam I tells ya, cunts nearly crashing into each other, its like watching the bumper cars in bray(rip), but yeah FUCK THAT SHIT!!!!

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

One Direction

Or as I call them "One Erection" because thats all they have between the 5 of them, if even.  These are 5 annoying little wanker fuckstains and one of them I'm ashamed to say is from Ireland.  They came from that piece of shit The X-Factor, dont get me started on that shite.  Anyway, they sing about girls and all, the only action theyve ever seen is probably someone getting a blowy down the back of the bus or something.  Theyre fuckin pathetic and theyre music, if you can call it that is pure fuckin muck, end of fuckin shtory.  Good day!

24 Hours to Kill: The murders of Marius Szwajkos and Pawel Kalite

This is on a more serious note this time, mostly I do joke posts but this programme actually made my blood boil.  This fuckin scum of the earth bastard named David Curran and his other scumbag mate that deserve to rot in fuckin hell Sean Keogh killed 2 innocent polish people.  It started over a scuffle outside a chipper, one of the scumbags bumped into one of the polish guys and next of all it all started a melee with all the scumbags getting the better of him.  Thats the way scumbags operate you see, they never go for you on theyre own, oh no, theyre fuckin cowards you see, i would love to exterminate every one of the fuckers!!!  As if that wasnt enough, giving the poor lad a hiding, no, the sick fucker goes round to the lads house and stabs him and his friend through the head with a screwdriver, yeah, a fuckin screwdriver, thats just fuckin evil, SCUM OF THE FUCKIN EARTH!!!  I really hope these fuckers are being made pick up the soap in prison on a regular basis, I would love if someone murdered the fuckers in prison or something, thats not justice, sending these fuckers to prison, they make new friends and live a comfortable scumbag lifestyle, bring back public execution for these type of fuckers!!! FUCKIN SCUM!!!

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Joan Burton

Well well well! Dont get me started on this piece of shit!  The stupid fuck is asleep half the time in the dáil, ive seen her on telly in there a few times and her eye's are completely glazed over, maybe she had been out the night before on the batter, is she a dipso, i dunno but she does like the type that would suck the sweat out of a wino's sock!!!  She looks like Chewbacca from star wars the insufferable motherfucker!!!  I think everyone knows the score with this one and if you have respect for her i dunno what planet your living on!!!! Bye now!!!


Where in the name of fuckin hell do I start with this one!  Its about a couple of chav/scumbag/wastes of space/scum of the earth motherfuckers from Dublin of which only 2 of them or something are from tallaght, holy jaysus man, lets get to it!  Right its like one of them programmes like Jersey fuckin Shore or something yeah, if America make one, then England make one of course fuckin Ireland have to make one aswell! Fuckin wank!  Anyway back to the point, its actually very painful to talk about this for fucks sake! Right, its these 7 or 8 mutants living in some gaff, I dont even think its in Tallaght, I could be wrong though, they just sit round all day talking complete and utter shite with theyre big orange fuckin heads on them, one of them her teeth are so big she could eat an apple through a picket fuckin fence, she could eat a water melon throught a fuckin cot! You get my drift, they even shop in the square and spend 700 quid on fuck all, i could have spent that money on getting them all executed for fuck sake, in the words of Bill Hicks "bad fuckin choice"! Anyway, dont watch this piece of crap, it does exactly what it says on the tin(of fake tan)! Its a fuckin joke and last time i checked tallaght was spelt the way i just spelt it there, not TALLA, thats pronouned TAWLA and sounds like your from D 4 or something, oh fuck off!!!! Bye now!! 

Army Bargains off Capel Street

Right right then, here we go, its been a while since I've done a review and what better time to do it than the start of a new year, expect more of these by the way.  This is one I thought needed a mention, Army Bargains,  I seen people giving out about it on and I thought I'd give my opinion of the place.  Where do I start, the old fella that runs the place doesnt even give you a chance to get in the jaysus door before he has the fuckin trousers you didnt even want on you! haha! In fact, he can hear you coming all the way from the bottom of capel street and he's making plans for your inner leg for jaysus sake, measuring tape at the ready!  Another thing that pisses me off is, they follow you every where you go, I was looking at a pair of boots one day and your man was asking me "what do you need them for" what the fuck business is it to him anyway, fuck sake, I should have said "standing on your head" if you dont fuck off away from me, silly bastard! His attitude is appauling for fuck sake, he reminds me of Hulk Hogan or something or some kind of bad guy from a Seagal film, what a prick! Anyway's Army Bargains doesnt get a lot of marks out of 5, maybe skid marks but not points! G'day to yiz!