Friday, November 12, 2010


What can I say but 2 little gimps that go on like 5 year olds and are in desperate need of a slap in the head, preferably both of them at the same time would be nice except with a baseball bat or wheel brace off a car, that would be very nice indeed!!!!  Another thing that would work also be a smack of a cricket bat into the gee! Yes i said gee!!!

Fade Street on RTE2

Where the fuck do I start with this piece of tripe.  Its about a load of stuck up cunts from Dublin that have an internship working for MCD(gang of pricks).  Why in the fuck would you wanna work for those gimps anyway.  I dunno.  Oh wait a minute, theres this cunt from wexford on it aswell and she doesnt help matters in the CRINGE department.  In one of the scenes theyre drinking in this bar in the Powerscourt Centre(rip off) and these two cunts with fringes come over to them, you know the kind im on about, think BERNARD SHAW PUB and that DICKHEAD SONG and youve got it.  They come over and sit down and start coming on to these girls that I wouldnt touch with your's and they start making a show of themselves, theyre in some shit indie band called Kid Karate and if they end up reading this review, this is what I think of you, a gang of STUPID FRINGED MOTHERFUCKIN EEJITS, get a fuckin life, cunts, oh yeah, its a shit programme, so my advice is steer well clear, oh yeah!!!!

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

FÁS "New and Improved" Job Search

Well this is a load of bollox, just when you thought Fás could'nt get any worse, they fuckin have done.  It used to be easy to search for a job on this poxy site but now its mad complicated, the fuckin wankers.  Sure its hardly worth your fuckin while searching for a job on this anyway, most of them are WPP1 and WPP2 which is complete and utter bollox.  WPP is Work Placement Programme but I would make it stand for Willy Pulling Professional.  Seriously though, this is complete WANK, would they ever cop on, the stupid fuckers, i'm probably gonna have to do another course at this rate, IF I CAN FIND IT ON THE FUCKIN SITE!  Fás can go suck a FLACID COCK!

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Wi-Max Broadband Advert

Well holy fuck this advert is very annoying.  It starts off with some baldy shitbag playing guitar complaining about how he got ripped off with other internet service providers such as vodafone and all this shit, well you dont wanna be with vodafone because they are complete bollocks.  Anyway back to the baldy gimp singing, hes singing about this new Wi-Max broadband and he's praising it likes it the best thing since German Lager but I dont believe him because his song sucks cheesy helmet.  The song goes "now I got, wi max the next generation, imagine wi max the new sensation" well I dont wanna and to be honest I would love to smack him very hard over the head with the modem but theyd have to make it the size of the Irish Broadband modem for it to pack a punch.  At the end he says "faster better cheaper no line rental fee, for more information see" but i made my own verse for him "faster better cheaper no line rental fee, if you dont stop singing, your gonna have a gee" and yes I am saying that I would chop of his meat and 2 veg, haha, annoying fucking advert!

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

One Day I was on the 27 going into town!

Wait til you hear this, wait til you fuckin hear this.  One day I was on the 27 bus heading into the City Centre as I would normally do on a Saturday afternoon, I had no music with me because at the time I was using a discman which was broken, anyway, theres this gang of scumbags down the back talking complete twaddle(bullshite), the usual shite, awe did you hear about whats his face and all that bollocks they do be talking, they always have a brown ring around theyre mouth from the amount of SHITE they talk, anyway, out of the blue one of the lads goes, here lads, do you know what i'd love right now, I thought he was gonna say a ride or something to be one of the lads or something but no, he says, I'D LOVE A PACKET OF HARIBO, hahaha, i just pissed myself laughing kinda to myself, but fuckin hell, hard men wha HARIBO, I thought they'd all start goin, what the fuck but no they start going on about what fuckin flavour they wanted fuckin hell, my guess would be BREAKFAST ROLL and YOKES flavour, fuckin idiots!

Young one's who wear too much fake tan!

Now heres something that really pisses me off, the fuckin state of them.  Theyre usually sporting huge forhead's aswell, they have theyre hair back from theyre forehead so you can see all that orange shite all over theyre skull! To be quite honest they look like oompa loompa's.  Oompa looma dippity doo, ive got another puzzle for you, what do you get when you use too much fake tan, you end up having a head like the bellend of a martian!! I dont like the look of it, da di diddy daddy da! The fuckin state of them! ORANGE MOTHERFUCKERS!

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Tommy's Out (Party Game)

Hello again my pedigree chums, this time I'll be talking about tommy's out, a game of strategy and skill.  I covered this in a zine I done a few years back but I wanna cover it again as it is quite the funny topic/game.  Right heres how ya get the ball rolling.  Your in a house with a load of yer mates, most likely a partay, anyway, everyone gets into the one room, like a meeting in an office or something except this is the funniest meeting you will ever attend.  The rules of the game are simple, a person has to go off, anywhere in the house, everywhere is game here, the kitchen sink, the bath, you name it, you can shit in it.  This person(alone) has to go off and shit somewhere because the opposition are gonna have to find this turd.  After you have accomplished the shitting phase you have to go back to the room were all your buddies are, well could be ex buddies depending on where you shat, but anyway, you shout tommy's out and they have to go and find the shite, sick game really but it sounds fucking hilarious, I have never competed in a game of this before, dont think I ever would but fuck, its GAS! On the hilariousness front, tommy's out gets a thumbs up!

Monday, October 4, 2010

Skangers down the back of the bus with theyre phones!

This is one thing that majorly gets on my TITS.  These little fuckin wankbags playing music really loud from theyre fuckin phones.  Playing this squeeky voice fuckin shitty dance music, that goes "unce unce unce" and then some random word like "sausages" or "marmalade" or something stupid.  Someone should go down the back of the bus, take the phone from the little fuckbag and shove it up his rusty sheriffs badge, sorry what colour was your nokia? White! Well now its brown you little scumbag, now FUCK OFF!!!

Galahad Lager 12 for 7.99 in Aldi

Where do I start here, this is such a good fuckin deal its unbefuckinlievable.  I love this shit and its been saving me so much money and thats a good thing coz im on the scratcher.  Well, let me get started on this gold coloured smooth tasting lager.  This stuff is best drank cold, you dont want to be drinkin warm cans of it or warm cans of anything for that matter, youll be gagging like a motherfucker.  If you were to buy a can of this on its own, its 79 cent and thats what you want and what you need let me tells ya.  I've been drinking this for about a month now and heres the good thing, ive never got a hangover once off it which is back of the fuckin net material.  The only problen is that its 3.9 per cent, but listen here buddies, that means you can drink a fuck load of them and that is beautiful, it really is!!! So I give Galahad Lager straight out of ALDI a huge thumbs up! GET IN!

Tennents Super Strength Lager

Well hello there, one sunny sunday afternoon me and 2 of my buddies went on a trip to belfast.  We were quite thirsty on our arrival so we needed refreshments(booze).  We spotted a local tesco and we entered the facility.  We went over and browsed the fine selection of beers and ciders and wait a minute, wait just a minute, i spotted something ive never seen in dublin before, a 9% lager in the form of Tennents Super strength.  I was very intrigued indeed, so i picked up a few of these bad boys, I knew I wouldnt need many of them as they are quite high in the ABV department so i bought 4 of them and 2 other beers.  We were playing a gig in the warzone centre so I waited til we got round there til i cracked one.  We arrived at the venue and I cracked one of the bad boys.  Holy shit, what I was about to receive wasnt what i was expecting.  I took a sip of this and my facial expression changed in an instant, fuck me, it was like taking a gulp of alcoholic soup, it was so thick it was unbelieveable, holy shit.  My advice to you is steer clear my pedigree chums coz your in for a world full of hurt. Tatty bye!