Monday, February 27, 2012

Conor Keaney from

Now this little ARSE GRAPE is a reviewer from some site called, should be called in my opinion because its pure SHITE!!!  Anyway, this little FUCK STAIN done a review of SLF when they played here last time also slating the lee harveys, well this little FECAL NUGGET wouldnt know punk if it booted him in the face very hard and that should be the case, the little fuckwit.  It sounded like he was earwigging quite a lot at this gig also because he has a lot of stuff that people were talking about in the review, the nosey little PRICK BAG!!!  And if this is the cunt i'm thinking of, it looks like hes been smacked in the nose a couple of times coz its flat as fuck, thats what ya get when you cant keep your nose out of other peoples affairs, now fuck off ya NOSEY SON OF A WANK BAG 2012!!!  If he done a bad review of a performance I done, next time I seen him I would FUCK my BASS GUITAR(AXE) at the FUCK PIG!!!  You can read the SHODDY review here, he doesnt know what hes SHITING about, perhaps the amount of digs he's got in the past fucked with his head, hahaha, THE LITTE SHIT STAIN!!!!!  It starts off with I GOT TO THE ACADEMY TOO EARLY, well go for a fucking PINT in THE OVAL across the road you THICK CUNT!!!!

Friday, February 10, 2012

Ireland AM

Rarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!  Now this show really gets on my TITS!!!  We have the presenters Sinead "OWL FACE" Desmond(She has a head like a fuckin owl, the state of the cunt), Aiden "WHO ATE ALL THE PIES" Cooney, Mark "I'M GONNA GET THE SACK VERY SOON FOR SAYING SOMETHING DODGY" Cagney and Laura "I THINK I OWN TV3" Woods and on News we have Siobhan "THE JAW" Bastible(the size of that fucking jaw).  Right right, the shit they do be talking about on this, very serious stuff like how the country is fucked and theyre sitting there acting concerned but they dont give a fuck because they taking home a fuckin GIGANTIC salary at the end of the week, the fuckheads.  When yer wan Sinead is interviewing people she's nearly falling aFUCKINGsleep, shes about as interested in the topic as I am in seeing jedward in concert for fuck sake and then yer man mark cagney or fatso fuck aiden is always interrupting whoevers talking. LOADA BOLLOCKS!!!  Theyre only down the road from me, well the studio where its filmed, perhaps I should cycle down there and fuck loads of shit at them like frozen burgers, eggs, seaweed, chairs, tables, desks!!! Wankers, take the show off the air now!!! GOBSHITES!!! Have a nice day now ya hear!!

Northside Shopping Centre

Now hello, this place is a FUCKIN KIP!!! This place is 18,000 meters squared of sheer SHITHOLE!!  Its has a lot of shops in it including Dunnes(rip off), Kennys Sports(load of bollocks), Tommys Out, I mean Tommys Toyshop(oh wait, thats not even there anymore), Mascot Newsagent(scummers work there), Graham O Sullivan's Restaurant(they do an exquisate GRAVY CHIP but its a KIP), FAS(you have about as much chance of finding work there as not coming across a dealer outside the shopping centre), McDonalds(the less said about this outlet, the better, lets just put it this way, the living dead eat in there and hang around outside).  Thers a wide range of shitholes in this centre, theres probably about 60 or more shitholes i'd say.   Anyway, this place is a fuckin kip, the security in there would actually help you fleece the place, its a joke and of course a kip like this wouldnt be what it is without THE SKANGERS, oh yeah, theres fuckin plenty of them in here, you cant move a cm without bumping into one of the FUCKERS!!  Whatever you do, only go to this shopping district with about a tenner because chances are, its gonna be nicked on you!!!, see what I mean.  Stay away from this kip if you know whats good for you, all the good shops that use to be there are gone, so theres no need for you to go!!! BYE BYE NOW!!!

Thursday, February 9, 2012

O2 Broadband

Well I'd like to just start by saying, PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT!!!!!!  This is my 45th post by the way, mental.  Anyway, lets get back to this piece of SHIT!  Right, it costs a fair bit to buy the modem itself, about 90euro if im not mistaken and then on top of that the bill of 20 euro a month, some people are on different plans even 30 euro per month.  Sounds like your getting a bargain hey, well guess what, YOUR FUCKIN NOT!!!  This is a plastic DONGle that you plug into the side of your computer, the USB port to be exact, its very fuckin awkward because it keeps banging off shit and disconnecting, thats BULLSHIT!!  It makes this annoying noise when it disconnects that goes "duh dum, duh dum", well folks, get use to it because your gonna be hearing that sound an awful fuckin lot!!!  The coverage on this thing is a fuckin joke also, you load up a page and you can go off and make your fuckin dinner before the thing is loaded, DIAL UP is probably a better option, I SHIT YOU NOT!!!  Sometimes it even disconnects itself without you even doing anything, HOLY HELL!!!  You'd be better off trying to find free wifi or something from someones gaff, fleece it if you have to because seriously, this shit will make you have a BREAKDOWN, you'll probably go through several computers/laptops from beating the fuck out of them because this thing wont connect.  I tell you, this should come with warning saying, THIS COULD BE BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH!!!  Dont get this shit, its not worth a WANK, spend your money on something else, go to the fuckin library and use theyre broadband and if your worried about the bus fair getting theyre, just think of how much it would cost to buy that modem, pay the bill and YOUR HEALTH for fuck sake!! Take it easy compadres and dont do the horse that is O2!!! Good day!!

Old Rubber Wrestlers from the 80's

Hoy hoy there, today I am talking about them huge rubber wrestlers from the 80's you use to be able to get.  These things were fucking giant, heres a picture if you dont know what I'm talking about but i'm sure a lot of you do!

We played with these things for hours on end, you couldnt even move them really because the rubber was so fuckin thick on the jaysus things, I remember a lad trying to do a DDT with the jake the snake figure and his arm came off, yeah, your not supposed to do that!! Hahaha!  After getting bored with playing with them we'd have a little fight with them, I mean like hitting each other over the head with them and all that shit! If you got a smack over the head with these things you would have a lump on your head for about a MONTH for fuck sake!! Hahaha!  Mental stuff!  Then there was a lad around the corner from us who use to bite the fuckin toes off them, why the fuck would you do that, is he not getting fed or summid!!!  Anyway, all his figures were destroyed coz either the toes were bitten off or something else, he asked me one day did I wanna swap him I think I had BRETT HART and he wanted to swap DYNAMITE KID minus the fuckin toes for it and I said no, of course!  Where as I should have said NO YOU HUNGA, THE TOES ARE FUCKIN MISSIN, he cant even stand up for fucks sake!! I know I have some more funny one's about them but just cant think of any at the mo, oh yeah, someone had a MR WONDERFUL figure, it was the same lad that broke his jake the snake, yeah, the figure had NO FUCKIN ARMS ON IT, what was it with him and taking the arms off, ah right, he was probably trying to do moves with them out of the comfort zone, haha, the stupid fuck head!!!!  Anyway, these wrestlers were fuckin excellent and really enjoyed them apart from getting belted over the head with them hahah!!! Maybe thats where the term RUBBERHEAD spawned from, if you got a smack of one of these loads of times it turned you into one, hahahah!!! Good day to ya!!!

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Philips SHE8000 Earphones

Oh boy oh fuckin boy!!!! These things are the dogs fuckin bollocks!!!  I got these for 12.99 reduced from 34.99 and fuck me, it was one of the best 12.99's i've ever spent.  These are loud as fuck, which means no background noise.  Those skanger cunts down the back of the bus listening to theyre stupid fuckin unce unce unce music and squeaky voice ringtones have become a thing of the past with these bad boys in your EARHOLES!!!  I use them cycling and on the bus, cycling I have them up pretty loud and I can hear no traffic which is fuckin great(makes me sound like some kind of crazy cyclist, well guess what, i'm not, I am always very aware) and then on the bus, you dont even need to have your mp3 player turned up very loud because these bad boys do all the fuckin work.  I love when you cant hear skanger dickheads on the bus because they do be talking complete and utter shite and those ringtones, holy fuck, my eye does be twitching like fuck, saying to myself, get me off this bus but now they all go fuck themselves!!!! I would definately recommend these bad boys, get your ass to argos if you want a set!!! G'BYE!!!!

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Carlos 3 pack Pizza's from ALDI

Wellety wellety, these things are fuckin mank!!!  Bought them one saturday for dinner, thought we were getting a bargain but NAY, when you open the box its like 3 giant rich tea biscuits covered in tomato sauce with cheese on it, at least rich tea are fuckin nice, these things are POXY!!!  Cooked one of them anyway and fuck, one bite and you could tell straightaway why they were so low in price, fuck me, they must be made out of newspaper or something, after taking a bite it was like the running of the bull in my mouth and they stampeded through all sorts of shite on the way through, fuckin woeful.  Dont get me wrong, carlos do make some nice pizzas in aldi but these ones take the COCK, i mean CAKE, dont get them, i mean it, you'll be crying on the inside once you take a bite.  There was 3 of them pizzas your wondering and we only cooked one, where did the other 2 go your wondering, not down the pie hole, in the fuckin bin, if they fit down the jax i would have gladly flushed them down there, PURE MANKINESS IN PIZZA FORM, dont thrust them,  i mean trust sorry.  Tata!

Monday, February 6, 2012

Funny Rhyme/Poem I heard in school

This is hilarious, I heard this when I was in Primary school and still remember it, hahahah, its goes a little something like this:

Matthew, Mark, Luke and John
When to bed with nothing on
Up stood John to see the light
He went to the window to have a shite
Out the window stuck his bum
Julius Ceasar passing by
Hears a rumble in the sky
Looks up to his surprise
With a load of brown stuff in his eyes!

Hahhaha! Take it handy!!!

Heinz Smokey BBQ Beans

Well heres a doozy for ya,  the idea of these sounds nice but that can be very deceiving i tell you, very deceiving indeed.  I bought these in tesco a few weeks ago and I was saying to myself oh i'd say these will be fuckin delish man, but no, in the words of social distortion "I WAS WRONG", why does this keep happening to me, sweetcorn relish, anesley harriot for gods sake.  Right, I got in from being out on a session one night and decided I would have something to eat, that something to eat being in the form of BBQ beans, I thought there was gonna be a party in my gob and everyone was asked to attend but NAH,  one forkfull of these bbq flavoured death bullets was more than enough, my face went from normal to looking like THE ELEPHANT MAN, they were rotten I tells ya, fuckin rotten, I cant really describe the taste, it certainly didnt taste like bbq anyway,  it was like there was a funeral in my mouth and everyone was flinging bbq flavoured feces around the gaff smothered in bin lorry smell, fuckin rank!!!!  Anyway, your better off sticking to the old school way and just putting bbq sauce into your beans, I done that before and it was A1 SHARON, take it easy now and dont buy them beans, you'll regret it i tell ya!!! Good day to yiz!!!

Friday, February 3, 2012

People who talk about theyre Spouse/Partner as if you know them!

This really gets on my BALLSACK!!!!  People I've worked with and been on course's with and all that shite talking about theyre spouse/partner as if theyre your best mate, ah yeah ANTO bought me this last night, who the fuck is ANTO, i've only met ya 5 minutes ago and if your boyfriends name is ANTO your obviously a SKANGER CUNT!!! Anyway, I used to work with a right FUCKHOLE years ago and she'd be talking about her boyfriend, now husband(god help him) coz she is some piece of work and he looks like HARRY POTTER, but anyway, she'd be walking around the office talking to people saying ah FRAN this and FRAN that, FRAN cooked me a big meal last night, yeah, ya can tell coz someone of your carraige EVANS cant even make clothes for you for fucks sake!!!!  Its a load of crap anyway, I dont know them and the way they talk about them frankly my dear I dont give a fuck about meeting them!!! Tatty day day!!!

Topnovil-Same Old Story

Right right, Topnovil are an Australian punk rock band I discovered yesterday, when I heard the title track The Fight from theyre same old story album I was fuckin hooked, i heard it on a blog.  I was on a download site and seen the album and I seen them compared to Rancid and Bouncing Souls, I am a huge fan of both these bands so I decided to check this band out and fuck me sideways with a spoon, they were the dogs bollocks.  I downloaded the album which is 15 tracks of pure punk rock with some ska punk songs also, I think the american version has 18 tracks, hey hey, i need 3 extra fuckin tracks, anyway.  The album kicks off with a song called The Fight, which at the start sounds very Dropkick Murphys/Real McKenzies coz it has the oul bagpipe's which i'm a huge fan of but holy shit, these lads pull it off, straight into a rancid sounding number.  Second track Another Scenario sounds like Rancid "and out come the wolves" era and exactly like that band Left Alone(pure fuckin class).  From then on, the album takes off and its like a boot in the head from a steeltoe doc marten boot, every track is fuckin class, whether it be the ska numbers or just the punk rock tracks, this album is a fuckin knockout and I definately recommend it for any punk rock lovin motherfucker out there!!  What are you waiting for, get onto and get the fuckin thing!! Good day to ya now!!!