Lyons Coffee

Well hello again my pedigree chums and welcome to another review, now this one isn't pretty at all at all!  Lyons make coffee? you say, yes they do, I didn't know this until I picked it up in Dealz one sunday afternoon.  I couldn't wait to get home and have a cup of this caffeine type drink.  I cracked open the jar, dug the spoon in and took one heaped spoonful of this.  I then poured in the water, the smell, I was saying what the fuck, it smelt like OXO, no word of a lie, it was rotten.  I said to myself, ah fuck it, ill put in the milk and have a sip and see what happens.  I done that, I took a sip and fuck me, my tastebuds were saying to me "WHY, WHY HAVE YOU BETRAYED US"! This was fucking torture.  I thought because LYONS make a nice TEA, which they certainly do and the shitty adverts tell ya so that they would make a nice coffee, well fuck no they dont! Do not and I mean, DO NOT buy this coffee! Its actually WORSE than TESCO VALUE coffee which is one of the RANKEST coffees I have ever drank.  Its complete DURT!  Let me describe the taste, em, em, em, FUCKING MANKY! DO NOT BUY OR TRY THIS, YOU WILL REGRET IT! G'day!

Clonmel 1650 Lager

Wellety wellety fuckin well. Like Chevy I'm gonna cut right to the Chase, see what I done there, ah yeah. This stuff is fucking deliciously tasty, holy fuck, the first sip and my taste buds were saying to each other "I think we've made a new friend here"! Nice and smooth and goes down a fuckin treat let me tell ya. Not sure of the alcohol content, who gives a fuck, this is a tasty fuckin drink, ive only ever seen this in one pub and I had to try it, I just had to try it. I was not disappointed, oh no! Next time ya see me I the boozer, mines a clonmel 1650, haha! This lager gets 10 out of 5.

Sweeneys Bar, Dame Street

Well, well, where do I start with this fucking kip!  Played several gigs here and was always a fucking manky place to play in.  The place is full of hipster motherfuckers with sticks up their arses looking at ya as if you have 20 heads, kinda like saying, what are you doing in my pub? I DONT WANNA BE HERE, ITS A SHITHOLE!!!!!  Anyway back to this shitkip!  Theres two particular bar staff in there that are complete fucking cunts!  Anytime theres a gig on in the KIP the sound engineer keeps fucking disappearing, what the fuck is he doing, gone to pound the parson, flog the dolphin, choke the chicken, pull the pork, YA GET MY FUCKING DRIFT!  They also had THE STRYPES play in this kip, that says it all really coz they cater for the wankers that go there! SHITHOLE! I wont be going back I tell ya!

Galway Bay Table Beer from The Black Sheep Capel Street

Its been a while since I updated this but I just had to tell people about this one, fuck yes.  Well hello there.  Was in the Black Sheep a few weeks back and didnt know what to be drinking because they only sell craft beers which isn't a bad thing if you find the right one.  I got a pint of this stuff called Galway Bay Table Beer, i thought it was a bit of a weird name but anyway, I took a sip of this gold coloured beer and fuck me, it was like there was a session in my mouth and everyone was invited, it was fuckin delish man.  I ended up drinking it for the night coz it was so nice.  Some of the craft beers taste a bit rank, they have quite the TWANG off them which can kinda make ya gag and ya dont wanna be doing that whilst out on the oul session.  I highly recommend this fine beer for your consumption, im sure there are other nice ones in there but this is my weapon of choice if i ever go back there so horse it into ya cynthia.  Good day!

Personal Space Invaders

When i say personal space invaders i dont mean a copy of the game space invaders that is an exclusive possession, no, i mean bastards that stand in your way or are basically right beside ya as if they are attached to ya.  This really gets on my barse, ya have these cunts who just stand in front of ya or sit down on the bus that may aswell be sitting on your fuckin knee, cunts! One christmas i was on the bus and some fuckin gee bag thought i was some kind of shopping bag rest, well i quickly addressed that situation (nipped it in the bud if you will).  I fucked the bags off my leg, the head on the fuckin sour faced cunt after it, what, are ya gonna ger johnner after me, the father of your 12th child!  In rathmines one day i seen people walking by this woman and they may aswell have been stepping on her toes they were walking so close, what did she do, she tripped them up and a few of them went flying, ah well, hate that shit!!!!  DONT BE INVADING PERSONAL SPACE! Especially standing behind a persons computer and eyeballing what they are doing, thats a need to know basis and you dont need to fucking know, now fuck off, good day!

Skangers in the ARMY!

Well holy fucking hell, this shit gets on my ballsack! This morning whilst waiting at the bus stop, 3 army jeeps worth of scum pulled up beside the bus stop and start fucking eyeballing me, not only do I hate that but when its skangers in army attire, fuck that shit.  3 of the cunts  in the back of the matte green army coloured jeep had fuckin knack tashes of the enth degree, fuck me, I just cringed on the spot.  You could tell these lads were scum by the big muck savage heads on them and the way they were all slouched in the back seat.  When I lived in rathmines ya would see the skangers getting on from the barracks with dirty knacktashes and when they get on they would sit down the back and start talking shite in that skangery dirty filthy scummy accent, hate the bastards!!!!  The rubberheads probably think theyre getting free guns out of it and that's why they joined, stupid fuckbags!!  Go and scrub your dirty STD covered balls with a toothbroosh, marine, FUCK OFF!!!!!

Skangers who over exaggerate!!!!!!!

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